About Kris
I've Been Living in Survival Mode Too
For years, I was the woman who smiled politely, read the room, and became whatever it needed me to be. I thought that's what kept me safe.
I was married to my daughter's father, playing the role of the supportive wife, showing up at social events while quietly pushing down the voice inside that kept whispering,
"There's more to life than this."
I was constantly replaying the past in my mind.
"If only I had said this differently."
"If only I had shown up better."
Maybe then things would have worked out.
And I rehearsed the future too. Planning what to say, how to act, trying to anticipate and control what might happen next.
Sound familiar?
When I finally left that marriage, I thought I'd found someone who saw me—really saw me. Turns out, he was a covert narcissist, and he became my project while I lost myself in the process.
It was the perfect storm: he got to be my noble cause, and I got to disappear while "helping" him become who I thought he could be.
I was exhausting myself trying to regulate everyone else's emotions, manage every situation, keep the peace.
Even when I was alone, I couldn't relax.
My mind wouldn't let me.
What I Learned (The Hard Way)
Through all of this—the marriage that didn't respect me, the partner who used me as a sounding board, the patterns I kept repeating—I learned something crucial:
People-pleasing isn't a personality flaw.
It's a survival mechanism.
Your nervous system creates it because you don't feel safe—and you learn that managing everyone else is the only way to stay safe.
I also learned that we use things to distract ourselves from our own growth. Sometimes it's a relationship. Sometimes it's a job. Sometimes it's staying busy with everyone else's problems so we don't have to face our own.
It wasn't until I realized I was living in survival mode—that people-pleasing was just my nervous system's way of trying to stay safe—that everything changed.
I had to ask myself:
What if nothing is wrong?
What if nothing needs to be fixed?
What if I don't have to manage or control anything?
Those questions changed everything.
I realized I could stop trying to control every outcome. I could take that deep breath I'd been holding my whole life.
Since I've been there, I can show up for you and offer you a pathway out.
(And Yes, Animals Too)
I also work with animals—they always mirror their owners, and sometimes working with them is the wake-up call you need.
They carry energy and trauma just like we do, and sometimes they need support to release what they're holding.
If your pet needs healing, let's talk.